Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Alone and Invisible

I am trying so hard not to cry today. Feel so depressed and tired. My body hurts so completely right now even my hair hurts. I don't know how I keep going. I wish I didn't have to keep going. Housework, children, meals, homework, husband, pets, phone calls and bills...and all I want to is cry. There's no one to call to get me off the ledge. No one in my circles who really know what I am going through.
I read blogs, search sites and "see" others going through the same thing but it's relative to them in their life. Even when I am positive way deep down there is a nagging voice that tells me I am alone. Alone in my world surround by people who will never "get it". And although I know I need to get over it, it is heartbreaking. We are raised to strive for connections. In effect to share. In both work and personal life we instinctively want to connect. Human beings are social animals. To find and share love, friendship, generosity, money, home, food, work, and pleasures. All these things are a far greater experience when you do it with others, and for others. As with all illness, especially INVISIBLE ones, we are robbed of some of that experience. Even in circles of support and groups of fellow sufferers. The ability to identify is helpful but not complete. I am left with the knowledge that no on can share this with me. No one can lessen it, or make it appear to be any better than it really is. I have to feel every nanosecond of the pain alone, but I get share everything I can when I am well. Tomorrow I may feel differently, but today it just makes me want to cry.

6 Fun Ways To Beat The Blues!
Bad Mood Busting Foods: http://www.everydayhealth.com/depression-pictures/bad-mood-busting-foods.aspx?xid=tw_depression_20120124_depression#/slide-1

Monday, June 4, 2012

Detox Your Body

Detox Your Body

Stupid rain, a sign that I should rest?

Last night I was wondering which pain I felt. Pain from Fibro, pain from working out, or both. Laughing at myself for pushing my body so hard, no wonder I never feel rested, and wondering also why I just don't take a break. Oh yeah, I can't relax. I set myself a goal. I don't know how to relax. Then I checked the weather. A week of rain, made me angry. Now I'm taking it as a sign to rest. I will still do my 1/2 hour..but everything else will work out the way it is supposed to and I am going to accept it. I AM GOING TO ACCEPT IT.