Thursday, December 15, 2011

Things you can't say out loud..

Today is the day that inevitably comes around a few times a month, despite all my efforts, I want to be left the hell alone! I have been on a B12 and HTP regiment and feel much better. I have yet to add the vitamin d or Q12 I have been planning simply because I haven't had the funds. But even with the better days, i have hit the wall. I knowingly did too much the other day and now Im paying for it. I ran a couple miles, went to two different supermarkets, made brownies for dance class, cleaned the house , hung new shades, cooked dinner, bought a new car, stressed over a money/daycare issues, and to top it off I have been battling a respiratory cold since mid September...then very clearly expressed to my husband that I needed a break. My back , my head, my neck, all the usual complaints.I couldn't wait for school the next day so I could sit and do nothing and try to rest. A few hours later upon my daughter coughing for a few minutes, he asked her if she wanted to stay home from school the next day..and of course she says yes...WTF.  Now can I tell my kids father hes an ass? Not in front of them..but in my head I said it ALL night long. And of course the next day was pure hell. She was definately well enough for school, and i was laid up with the worst back pain, struggling all day to play with her..growing more and more resentful as the day went on. I tickled her and had coffee, popped a few advil here and there, and managed to get through the day. But all I can think is I want to slap a certain person in the head. Someone who is usually pretty supportive, to do such a stupid thing and then get to walk out the door to go work and not have to witness the difficulty its caused. So after crawling on my hands and knees through the last 2 days, today I am trying some meditation techniques to get through at least until he is home from work. Today I will go in my bedroom and shut the door and leave him on duty till bedtime.


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