Monday, April 13, 2020

Stay at Home? (You don't have to tell me twice!)


Stay at home advisory. Still working for me!!

Today is 28 days since we were told to stay home because school was closed in neighboring towns (the first time). We were originally supposed to stay be closed for 2 weeks until March 27th. Then it was extended to April 7th.
 I wont lie the first few days I was so stressed  about work and money it triggered anxiety (more than usual), insomnia, an over consumption of coffee and a lot of depressing thoughts. Mostly because I knew the insurance if approved would be about 3 days pay compared to working a full week. Then March 25th Mass had a  stay at home advisory and schools closed at least until May 5th. Wait what?!

I tried to think positively but it wasn't easy. When I'm at work I want to be home. I think of all the things I could be doing, painting, cleaning, or just laying on the couch letting my body hurt and rest.
SO, mentally I had to recenter myself. It didn't work, but I felt better at least trying to be calm than feeding the stress. Stress is a killer. ( Haven't said that before 👀).


A press conference almost every day, one from The Governor an one from the mayor, then the President started.  The news at 4 o'clock, 5 o'clock, and 6 o'clock with the daily updates on positive test numbers, how many deaths, and social media is mostly people in fear spreading more news about the virus an things they heard to prevent it, treat it, avoid it....SO I switched to decaf, started some online CBT and stopped looking and listening to all that.
Then the approval came from unemployment and although it was not a lot it was better than nothing and I was lucky to have it. Some people were getting nothing. But then I started looking for a job because its just not enough. That's reality. No matter how lucky I am to have it, it does not pay much more than a weeks worth of groceries.

Lots of back and forth with places, also thought of going to offer services if they needed teachers at one of the approved daycare centers allowed to stay open for first responders children. Then didn't want to put myself in harms way deliberately.
Ended up having interview with Amazon, on line then in person. Then the news started telling us how Amazon/Instacart workers are afraid (who isn't!) because they don't have proper ppe. Instacart workers were getting offered big tips to complete orders and then after the deliveries the costumer was changing the tip amount to very low.
WHY are costumers allowed to change the tip amount for up to 3 days after a delivery anyway?! That system seems set up to fail and completely one sided, but  I digress....

Then the more I looked at the training video for amazon the less I wanted to work there. Seems there is no way not to touch everything and stay safely distanced from people, even with masks and gloves, does not seem safe when the alternative is to stay home.
Then the approval of the stimulus package that included an increase in the amount of unemployment so problem solved. Im staying home!


I decided if the mayor had a press conference Id listen to that, and the one 1/2 hour at night with David Muir would be my only dose of news for a little while.

That brings me to today. I finally felt like actually posting more than just some projects.

 I am able to be focused and finish tasks everyday said NO ONE with chronic pain EVER!

Today I finished painting on glass, a mandala that I printed from the Cricut Design space, and that's about all I did. The weather is rain and wind, the lights flickered, oh and I managed writing this. That's not lasting long.



 I'm not sure if I am putting back in the picture frame I took the glass out of or making some other thingymagig to be able to hang it up as a stained glass. Either way its done. I wanted to paint on glass and it was the only available glass. I started 4 days ago then took a break for the masks.

Well more later. Now that I am home and have time, I can update. I think I said that last February. Yikes SMH