The Crazy running, crying lady! (coffee vs tea)

So I have quit coffee among other things. But while getting myself back into running shape I revisited the idea that the caffeine gives you a little extra boost for your work out. I though I'd test this out for myself. Part of me thinks this was a desperate subconscious attempt to get coffee back into my life, but I rolled with it. What's one cup going to hurt, right? Well, I had a coffee, waited 45 minutes, worked and it it was slightly better than the day before. Possibly the coffee, possibly I was just having a good day. The difference was just to slight to really tell. So coffee is back out. THANK goodness, I'd hate to think I went through those awful withdrawals for nothing. So where else can I get caffeine that's not coffee. Well tea of course was my next test. Tea has more caffeine than coffee and has great health benefits as well...so the next day I made a cup of Green Tea, waited 45 minutes and hit the track. I ran my little brains out. Got around the track 10 times only stopping once to mess with my ipod for a few seconds.It was like I has rockets on my sneakers! Now this was noticeable. Enough for me to try again 2 days later. This bring us to yesterday (Friday). I was tired, in pain I thought no way am going to get this done even with the tea, so I'll just do what I can, experiment over.                                                        

                                                                           


                                             Well, 4th time around I thought "how in the hell did I do this just 2 days ago?" "I'm going to die!" Last year I worked my tail off with "Couch-to-5K" getting back into "running" shape after doing nothing all winter. "Why is this happening?" (an always rhetorical question I can't stop asking myself!) I feel even better/faster/stronger on this 90 day program (Day45 Friday). But As with Fibro, some days the body is just not connected with what the mind wants to do. I started to decide "only one more time around, then I'll walk". I was feeling a bit defeated and disappointed, but I'd get over it. Then when I got back to where I started, like a message from God (or whoever you believe in) "that song" , "the song", started to play, that made me want to tell Fibro to SUCK IT and I will not be defeated and I will keep going. I went around the track that same 10 times and then did one extra for good measure!

                                                  Now I always have this song  "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park push me just a little bit further, just a tiny bit more..be it a quarter mile, or 5 more minutes, for some reason this song resonates with me on such a level that I can get through almost any pain.  I think about struggle, loss, pain, and becoming stronger and changing my life...blah and boring I know, but don't we all have at least one of those songs? Be honest!! But I swivel that button, I skip to that song  when I need it. Yesterday... the timing of it playing on it's own, on shuffle, exactly when I needed it literally brought me to tears.So I cried. I took deep breaths, cried a little, smiled a little and kept going. Thankfully no one else was around, they would have run from the track in fear of the crazy running crying lady! Was it the tea? Was it the music, or a combination of the both? You be the judge. As for me either way,  I took it a a sign that I had to do it. I had to be  thankful that I am alive, aware, and that I can do it. Do it for me, for everyone who can't, and for everyone who wishes they could. Because tomorrow I might not be able to open the jar of spaghetti sauce.

But today I can run.