Navigating life and trying to stay creative with Fibromyalgia, Bi-Polar 2, Adrenal fatigue and CFS. There is also a touch of Hyperacusis, Misophonia, Hypothyroid, Pulsatile Tinnitus, Asthma and everything that comes along with it. Trying to heal my body with organic food, supplements,and modified exercise.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Bad day
Here we go with the dark days, causing my body to want to curl up in a ball, under the covers and just stay there all day. Winter time is terrible. Less sunlight and fresh air really does a number on my mood. Trying tricks that have worked in the past, and things I've read about and finding minimal relief. No matter how many blogs I read, or support groups I join I still feel alone. When I struggle through the day and wish for time to myself I never seem to get any but when I get a few moments here and there I don't have the energy to make the most of that time so I am still constantly feeling like I'm not getting anything done. Not my worst day but not my best.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
I walked the walk
I did my 5k Saturday and I stuck to the plan of alternating running/walking so as not to put too much stress on my body. It was a little disappointing that I even had to do that. I wish I was in a place I was a year ago, or 4 years ago. But I am not. And so goes on with the lesson of acceptance. I did it, I finished, and only 2 and half minutes off from my time last year when I ran the whole way. So in that respect I am proud of myself, but I still have some internal embarrassment that my health had deteriorated to the point where I had to walk at all in the first place. I don't know if this is because I just cant accept that my old body is gone, or if its just a momentary feeling because I wasn't as fast as least year, but in any even I finished. I raised a lot of money for Special Olympics and my family is proud of me. I don't like when people call and ask me to do things that I cannot do because of my back, or whatever ailment of day might be plaguing me. It makes me feel like I have to explain my no answer and wonder if they think I'm making it up. I wonder if they even remember when they call that I have become much more physically limited than I have been. That's isolating. Feeling like everyone ele can do things I used to be able to do. Today I need more spoons. I cooked, I cleaned, I organized some photos for an upcoming show, had one day care kid and now I'm blogging. Dear lord I still have to do showers and bedtime routines At least today I am in good spirits and my back only hurts a little. Oh yeah..and nothing went numb today..so there's that.
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