I began to type..it got erased. I am too tired to do it again. I have been reflecting per order of my buddhist spiritual book, and trying to open myself to the good energy from accomplishments, goals, obstacles and achievements I have overcome or obtained, but it is not working. I see these things in my conscious mind and am aware of the sense of worth they are supposed to bring but I do not feel it in my heart. I think the depression has too deep a hold today (as in the past 2 weeks) and it is robbing me of most feelings of anything except that of exhaustion. I will sit in the sun today and see if it helps a bit and then maybe decide if I want to double up on my 5HTP. Today is not a good day, but I am mobile and alive and somewhere in my subconscious I am optimistic.
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