Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Did I have Covid-19 (The Coronavirus)?

Friday March 6 
  That was a normal day.
That night I was exhausted. Beyond regular exhausted or fibro exhausted.
Everything hurt so bad I couldn't move at all once I laid in the bed. I had to grab my phone and text one of my kids to come get the dog to go out.  I barely moved or rolled over at all the entire night. I just lay there in agony. Muscle aches and extreme fatigue prevented me from even getting up for the bathroom which I usually do twice a night.

Saturday March 7                           

  I have no recollection of that day (or night) at all. Yeah I  think that's a bit strange.
Side note: I couldn't remember Saturday by the next Monday!

Sunday March 8 
  That was a normal day other than the fact I wasn't hungry at all until about 3 in the afternoon and only ate something because I felt nauseous. That night again I was in bed early before my kids I was so fatigued. I could not move my body at all. I tried to get up to let the dog out and I was so dizzy I started to fall over. I grabbed the wall, steadied myself then got back in bed. I texed my other daughter this time to come get the dog. Hhmm, no flags yet since all these things have happened before.


Monday March 9
  I woke up very nauseous and dizzy, but when I mentioned it at breakfast to my kids, my youngest said "You always feel sick in the morning". Well, shes kinda right. I always feel sick, and unhappy, and a little terrified wondering if I can even fake it and make it through another week of work. I thought about calling in sick but I wasn't really sick was I?  For me to miss work, even one hour less in a much needed paycheck, I have to be under a bus LITERALLY, so I didn't do that. But, I can suck it up, because that's what I do. My breakfast tasted totally disgusting. I specifically had a conversation with  myself about how many of these breakfast sandwiches I just purchased and what a waste it was if I was already getting sick of them.

When I got to work I let my coworkers know I didn't feel good but I wasn't going to say anything because I did not want to get sent home and lose hours, and to keep their distance.

Side note: We had the stomach bug going through the building bigtime, teachers and kids were dropping like flies for about 2 weeks. My boss was sending people home every day in between people calling out. I was NOT going to be one.

At this time it was the beginning of the freak out about the Coronavirus. We had confirmations in Boston, Natick and Wellesley and Lincoln. Near us in Wayland relatively speaking, but nothing to make us really worry about yet. The only things we discussed were if school shut down would we keep working or stay home with our kids. But if the governor issued a stay at home order we all said we would not be going to work even if we were open. (Sorry boss.)

While the kids (at work) slept I had muscle aches and pain like there I ran a marathon in bad weather AND got run over by a 18 Wheeler. After I filled out parent notes I could not get up off the floor. I had the floater cover me to go in the office and get Advil assuming it was my fibro and or arthritis trying to kill me.

By the time I left at 5 o'clock I was burning up. I had to flap my sweater open and closed to avoid to passing out while I stood there making some copies. One of the bosses actually asked me if I was having hot flashes. I said YES, to which she replied "The heat is on pretty high in here"
Went home and basically sat on the couch all night. Then moved to the bed. Tired, hot, then cold, then passed out.

Tuesday March 10
  Woke up actually sick. Full out nausea.  My insides were shaking like when you have those butterflies before vomiting. I could barely stand up straight. I was breathing heavy ( I say panting like a dog) to catch my breath. I thought about going to work anyway for a second, then laughed at myself at how ridiculous that was. No way was I infecting anyone else AND I wasn't going to make it. Lets be real. I took a bucket with me to drive the kids to the bus stop in case I threw up. I called out of work then went home. Stayed on the couch, bathroom with diarrhea, freezing cold, chills, still on the couch, bathroom, then to bed where I would NOT leave again for almost 48 hours.

I stayed in bed all day except 2 more trips to the bathroom. I felt like I was in a dream, or coma. Thing were fuzzy and I couldn't  tell if it was day or night, or how much time passed, minutes or hours.  I only moved to kick the blanket off when I was too hot, and to put it back on when I was freezing. I was waking up because of sleep apnea all day. 

That was the scariest part.I mean THE SCARIEST thing of all. To stop breathing while your sleeping and wake up gasping for air!!! I mean OH MY GAWD! If you've never been through it, you think you will die. You'll just not wake up one of these times and that's it, its over for good. I thought about going to the doctors, couldn't even move for the phone, and I knew I couldn't even get in the car to go. I thought at one point I was going to die for real, I just couldn't breath. I had to  and lay on my stomach to be able to breath at all. I thought I was not long for an ambulance but then I thought about the $500 emergency visit copay and decided no. Ill just die here in the bed. My family knows I want to donate organs. 

My husband had the day off and says he was checking on me but I don't really remember. I remember he was going to pick up or drop off a child and I said migraine meds and saltines. Took them with a few crackers after he was home and kept feeling the same. I still no idea what time it was. Heard some people talking downstairs in between waking up then it was dark, I was still sleeping. I have no idea if I had any conversations with anyone. I took the migraine pills again later but 2 times as much as I was supposed to and it eventually did make a slight dent in the head pain. The night was a blur other than gasping for air, wheezing and managing to get to the bathroom once. 

I had a migraine, stiff muscles and muscle aches, the sleep apnea, fever, chills, dizziness, dry cough, tight chest and a fear of death. 

Wednesday March 11
  Woke up slightly better but called the doctors anyway. Stayed in bed until it was time to go. Work said to stay home the rest of the week because what I had sounded worse what everyone else had and they were all set anyway. Denied!! I was a little irritated about it because again, I need the money. At the doctors they made me wear a mask which has been standard procedure if you have a cough for a long time now anyway, but if it wasn't they would have  made me wear one because of  Covid. I gave them all my symptoms, they asked if I have been in contact with anyone who's tested positive or shown symptoms. NOPE.

 They diagnosed me with a gastrointestinal virus (stomach bug/flu). I was severely dehydrated and she said that explained the muscle aches, fatigue, dizziness, all over body pain and probably what triggered the migraine. The stomach bug explained the tender belly and diarrhea, nausea and awful stomach noises, and dehydration.
She failed to explain everything else but at that point I didn't care. All I was focused on was getting a note so I could go back to work on Thursday and Friday but she said no. She gave me 24 hours to re-hydrate myself  or else she was going to send me to the er for iv fluids. She said she would write a note on Monday to go back to work on Tuesday if I was better, but not the rest of the week. Denied again!

Thursday March 12th and Friday the 13th slowly on the mend, very little activity. Sitting, resting, only eating soup and crackers. the cough was slowly going away. The dizziness was slowly going away. I was partly thankful I didn't go back to work because other than the fibro flares I used to have that laid me out, I haven't had a rest in a while. A real sit around and do nothing rest. 

I had whooping cough in November and that took me 6 weeks to stop the horrible coughing and I was still at work everyday. Same doctor, and she only said I had to stay out of work 1 day that time.
Late Wednesday work called and said I couldn't go back without a FLU test. OMG what a pain!


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Called the office. I was told my symptoms were not flu like related, I had already been diagnosed with the stomach bug, and they wouldn't give me one. I asked for a call back from the manager/head doctor. He in turn said the same thing, but in addition,  he said they are not doing any mouth or nose swabs at this time because they have no way to protect the staff. I could go to the emergency room if I felt like it but that they wouldn't test me for the flu either because I had no symptoms. Again, not paying the emergency room deductible. 

I told work on Thursday they would give me a flu test, she responded  with "go to the minute clinic". PPFFTT  😡

Friday the 13th I went to The Minute clinic, waited 2 1/2 hours  even though I had an appointment, with actual sick people everywhere, any of which could have actually had the coronvirus, for the flu test. NEGATIVE for A or B. So yeah I can go back to work.

This all makes me wonder (after the fact) if this time, because of covid the doctor didn't want me to  go back to work? Either because they had no tests, I didn't fit the criteria of being in contact with a positive person to get tested (even tough symptoms fit), or she thought I had it and didn't want to tell me, freak me out AND couldn't test me. Who knows, but I wonder why with something that IS contagious she let me go back to work in the middle of flu season, and with the stomach bug she had me out for almost a week in spring?? At this time they are saying a lot of people who test positive for coronavirus also test positive for the flu, and it was taking 2 weeks for most people to get better so I had not really myself contemplated the idea that I would have it. Plus I wasn't near any one that I know of. 

*Update: 4/19/20 We do now know the criteria for getting tested changed a couple times, the availability of testing was always an issue until just recently, and there are many people who had it but never got tested because there wasn't a test available. Also some were told to stay home because there was nothing to do and only come in if it got worse and it became severe enough. Some people had it with such mild symptoms they never went to the doctor or assumed it was a cold or allergies and did nothing about it.

Also Friday March 13th
  Work had so many children out they were getting a count of who wanted to work the next week and who didn't so they could staff appropriately. I said work. I was just out a week I mean really! 

By Sunday March 15th schools closed for 2 weeks, so we were closing on the 16th because of coronavirus, until March 27th. "Stay safe, stay healthy"  Apply for unemployment. WHAT?! Who's paying my bills?

Holy crap! I will be homeless and cant pay rent for sure now. Talk about STRESS!

March 24th we were issued the "stay at home advisory" until April 7th.

March 25th schools were closed until May 4th

March 29th Stay at home advisory until April 30

March 31st Stay at home advisory extended to May 4th

Now is when I think I may have to go back on meds that I have previously gotten off of. 

In between here I decided to start some "coronacrafts". I saw that term somewhere else among others but that was the one i liked best and seemed less to offend anyone. Make the most of being home with my babies while I can, if I didn't have to find a job.


Fun Things to do While Social Distancing 










Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Stay at Home Day 10

Day 10

I used My Cricut to cut out a heart shape and put the heart on one canvas and the cut out on another canvas to mirror each other. 


I used the Cricut to cut thin strips so I could  divide them into sections. I used painting tape on a similar project and because of the texture of the canvas it bleeds slightly through so I decided to stick with the vinyl. (Excuse my foot HA HA)
Then painted each section a different color. I made sure to use only the exactly same colors on both of them.




I peeled off the vinyl.


Basic and easy but cute. I went with colors that would be bright since things have such a somber overtone lately. 
#Keeping Busy
#coronacrafts











Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Stay at Home Advisory Day 9

Day 9

Im setting small goals daily. You have to. I went a little crazy the first couple days home and realized I cant run like that. I will be burnt out, in pain and the mental energy thats required to sustain that kind of focus is not attainable, not long term anyway.
Case in point, right now, my body hurts, sat in front of email and Pinterest for a couple hours just vegging out. 
I finally decided to try the wood burner my kids got me for Christmas. I looked on line and decided on a deer silhouette I found on Design Space. I cut one out of vinyl, stuck it to the wood and traced the outline.

                         

                   


 original post on Insta



It came out ok. Im a pretty good artist but by definitely not a professional at wood burning. It is fun, and I have practice boards so I will get better with time and practice. 

Saturday, March 21, 2020

Stay at Home Advisory Day 5 & 6

Day 5 and 6


I spent 8 1/2 hours over Friday night and tonight putting this crazy piece puzzle together with my  kids. Spend the day mostly cleaning and disinfecting. Talk about a back ache, but I love hanging out with my kids.

 I have to make the most of being home. I spend so much time I'm pain and at work when these moments pop up you gotta grab them!!

Saturday, December 17, 2016

When you procrastinate...for a year!

Well we all know procrastination and lack of energy go hand in hand. Lack of energy and fibromyalgia also go hand in hand. So it should come as no surprise that I have put off even looking at this blog for quite some time. I have great ideas, I write notes, my phone is full of photos, I have dreams of this beautiful post with all these pictures I have taken and then by the end of the day its all fizzled out and I cannot possibly bring myself to do one more thing let alone sit at the dang computer or on the phone. I had a website dedicated to fitness with fibro and I could not maintain it. My husband was originally going to hep and that didn't work. A few friends who do website were going to help and of course that didn't work out either. When I had more time I was able to be focused and get so much done. Even with some bad days or weeks thrown in. I used to read blogs and websites and think  "wow, the last post was a year ago or 2 years ago. Where did they go? Dont they care? What about the readers?"

                                                                       
                                          BAAAAAH
Now I do!

How easy it is for that to happen and how intrinsically I understand it now.
 Now I have no time and with some bad days thrown in there it seems every day only the bare minimum gets done.
Im just surviving. I have no time to share my entire story with the world. Or half my sto...well, even 1/4 of my story.....with anyone.
But I do have some highlights and plans to fill in the blanks when I have a couple days off next week. (best laid plans.....fingers crossed).

Probably the biggest thing is we moved a few months ago into this new house. Its a shade smaller and for someone who's got ADD, OCD and Fibro, it went fairly well. I had no major stress or anxiety issues until a couple days after moving in. (Thats big because we were living out of boxes all summer leading up to the move. More on that later) We left some things at the old place and the hubster got a friend to go get it all. I went over the next day to "clean" and saw there was still a million things left including heavy furniture and so yeah...I had a flip out. I wanted, no, NEEDED to be done at the old place. 

THE OLD PLACE...sounds like a book title. It could be had I desire to write everything down. We were packed in like sardines with our neighbors (not the good kind). It was loud, stressful, we had no privacy, we had constant knocking on the door, lots of foot traffic, car traffic, noise from a bar and also the drunk people staggering down the street after it closed. We had fights we had to call the police for every other month, a half way house, a rehab center, a 7-11 and a liquor store, neighbors who blasted music from their cars at all hours.....I could go on but the kicker was the kids couldn't ride their bike down the street without our thinking they'd get run over or kidnapped. And that's not my anxiety, that's the neighborhood.  


THE NEW PLACE...We have nice neighbors who aren't too close. Our backyard is very large, more long than wide and then goes down into the woods. Its conservation land so no one will build or encroach. Its almost magically quiet with the only sounds coming from various birds. We have deer, turkeys, rabbits and other critters who come to visit. Nov one knocking on the door and the kids can ride around the neighborhood, walk down to a friends house or to the bus, and its all safe. The anxiety level is down from a constant 9 to a 1. Its an unbelievable difference in the actual quality of life. Instead of dreading every noise and waiting on the edge of my seat for the next thing to happen, I'm chillin' with my dog on my lap looking around for things to do.

Stress is a killer. I have posted about it before and I'm sure I will again. 

I started making things to sell on line ie opening an Etsy store. Cant keep up with that either! I was doing well but I got VERY, and I know fellow online sellers no matter what site you use can sympathize, I was getting very annoyed at the people purchasing things an not leaving any feedback. I know feedback is great for myself as a buyer. If I see other people happy I am encouraged to buy. If I see low stars, low purchases, even though I know it could be someone just starting out I get hesitant. It looks like I have sold very little and I feel its not worth all the effort when people take my goods and not post feedback. I have let my listings expire as of late and I feel no motivation to add pictures of the new things because...well...shipping and communication to get no feedback...again it feels pointless. Its not about the money. You want someone to say "hey good work and THANK YOU".
If I get in there and spruce it up I will provide a link soon. 
           

 

 

I have had painted wine glasses, pre-made scrapbook pages, awareness bracelets, awareness magnets and other assorted awareness items.



Im done training (been a while now). NOT forever I hope but...Macros, calories, injuries, demands, late nights on the pc and memory issues are not a good mix at all. I do not have enough energy  to fully maintain at the level I should be able to and that effects my confidence which effects how I carry myself. I still give advice, tips online and occasionally a paid workout but as for clients, I just cant. Do I feel like a failure? Some days. Other days I remember this is my life now. Adapting and changing as the fibro does good or bad, is the way it has to be. 

Started Crossfit. Loved it 10 minutes in and I was hooked. Those who know, know. Its not like anything else. Its just not. You fell strong, confident, you carry yourself differently and feel like you have a secret. Like you're in a secret club for the cool kids and you cant tell anyone because you wont be cool anymore. But you do tell everyone because its so great you want to share it. You want to recruit people, you want to share the high and be proud you opened up new doors for yourself and a friend. It was scary, I was intimidated, but I took my scared arse in there and MADE myself get through a free class....Immediately paid for the next month. Its one of the best things I ever did. You have to try it at least once. 


The only picture I have there, I never bring the phone in #nodistractions




Had surgery on my right shoulder. Had issues for a while, tried everything I could. Ice, heat, magnets, electric stimulation, massage. The doctors of course  ran me around the bases. PT, cortisone injections, ultrasound blah blah...finally I demanded an MRI. Diagnosis: torn labrum , also a little of the  bicep! WTF!! PT wasn't going to fix that. GGRRR
Lets count the number of times I was asked ..
A: "Did you do that a Crossfit?" and B: "are you a pitcher?"
It wasn't as bad as they let on when they finally got in there, "supposedly" but had to scrape the bone and the amount of pain I stayed in for as long as I did after was no joke. That was April. Its now December. Still have pt and although some things are great, some of the important things are not and I am very displeased to say the least. The physical therapist also said "by the way, did they tell you you have arthritis in that shoulder?" BALLS!!! No "they" didn't. She wanted to make me aware that even with surgery and pt I may still be in some level of pain from the arthritis so not to get my hopes sup. FUN STUFF RIGHT? Ever feel like you are surrounded by idiots? My main goal is not 100 percent, but I want to go back to crossfit. Right now I feel like I cant carry my weight. QUITE LITERALLY!!


I think that's enough catching up for now. My brains will explode. I have still been reading, researching, and experimenting. I was given a copy of a book about cfs and fibro to read before it was to hit the shelves (which it has already) so I have a review on that, some supplements and some other things. Wow, Im still amazed at how being so extremely tired  all the time can set you back a millennia.