Sunday, December 23, 2012

Suffer from chronic pain? Staying active anyway? We would love to meet you!

Are you a runner, cyclist, or competitor in in a sport? Do you have chronic pain from Arthritis, CFS, ME, Pots, Fibromyalgia or any other pain condition? It's sometimes hard for people to understand that what you do may be twice as hard, or take twice as long. Some may never grasp the sheer determination  and energy it takes just for you to keep up, never mind exceed any goals you may have set for yourself. Sometimes feeling guilty about being able to do so much is one thing I struggle with personally  I see every day people who can barely move and are in great pain and I hurt for them,and think of them all when I am running. I have worked hard for it, sometimes to point of tears, literally. Crying and running! But in the midst of feeling so proud is some sorrow and guilt,  knowing others may never get there. But each of us has our own struggle. And I am finding that being active makes my struggle  a little less painful and a lot more fun. We are looking to connect  with others in the same position. I started with my husband to try to bring together others like me, either to race together, communicate about struggles or just to know we are not alone out here on this journey.Whether you are in Texas, Florida, Canada, Massachusetts or anywhere we would love to connect with you and hear your story. Hear how you manage physical fitness in the face of chronic pain. What motivates you, how do overcome the temporary setbacks?
Find us. Join us. We would love to meet you!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Things people without chronic pain take for granted

We know we have pain, we know people who don't have pain can't understand fully the depths to which it reaches. Instead of complaining about all the things we have to rearrange, suffer through, plan for and deal with..I have decided to put it in the form of a list that's easy for people to read. And those of you who don't suffer I ask, can you deal with this?

  • Changes in eating patterns, too much or too little. Weight gain and weight loss. New food sensitivities causing stomach pain, headaches, rash, muscle pain. Never knowing if what you are eating will make you worse.
  • Changes in sleep patterns. Never being able to fall asleep at night no matter what you try. Being tired all day long no matter what you try. 
  • Lack of sleep impairing your judgement and mental focus.
  • Major differences in daily life include:
  • Cooking and Cleaning.
  • Talking on the phone
  • Driving
  • Showering: Even water hurts your skin, holding your head back to wash your hair can be impossible. 
  • Going to the bathroom
  • Carrying heavy laundry baskets
  • Pushing heavy carriages in the store
  • Reaching for things or stretching causes a charlie horse, muscle cramps, or muscle spasms.
  • Bending over to tie shoes or put socks on hurts or pulls muscles
  • Having muscle pain that never ends day in and day out. Sometimes so severe it cripples you and confines you to the bed, couch, or house. You cry, you ache, and beg and plead and pray for it to end and it never does. 
  • Trying to find a doctor educated enough to help you rather throe meds at you. Or worse have to go from one to another because they don't believe you at all.
  • Unable to sit for long periods of time. Playing  on the floor or doing homework with children, hobbies, even watching tv becomes a painful task
  • Unable to stand for long periods of time. 
  • Unable to walk around for long periods of time.
  • Work becomes compromised. 
  • Relationships become strained.
  • Day trips, vacations, live shows, walking around the mall, even grocery shopping have to be limited and planned.
  • Constantly trying new medications that don't work. When you find one that does work and you start to feel better and have relief it stops working and you have to go back to try something new. 
  • Forgetting things in mid sentence, people names or where you were driving to.
  • Taking one pill for pain, another because that makes you nauseas, another because that makes you tired, and another because that one causes headaches and ...really do I need to go on?
  • More prone to injury and illness, and slower recovery time afterwards.
  • Symptoms get worse, then better, then worse and there is no predictability to it other than being unpredictable
  • Never being able to get treatments that may help because they are too expensive and insurance doesn't cover it.
  • Exercise habits change. Your body can no longer do what you want it to. You push and push because you have the drive and determination and then suffer for 3 days afterwards because it causes your body to flare. Some days you can run a mile, and some days just getting up the stairs gets you winded and causes back pain.
  • Bright light  and loud sounds hurts your eyes and head
  • Pulling muscles at random times for no reason. Getting bruises easily even when you don't remember bumping into anything.
  • Feeling good and doing things you have neglected, only to be in severe pain because of it.
  • Being in relentless pain, your body is on fire, and no one can even see it on the outside.
  • Knowing there is no cure and no treatment 
  • Psychological distress
  • Stress
  • Depression
  • Frustration
  • Guilt
  • Impaired memory
  • Anxiety
  • Headaches/migraines
  • Digestive disorders
  • Muscle aches, pain and stiffness and burning
  • Weakened immune system
  • Too tired or too painful to enjoy sexual relations
  • Being misunderstood
  • Financial devastation
  • Lack of interest in things or people
  • Heightened sensitivity to light, sound, taste and textures.

So I am going to ask you again. Can you deal with this? 

Monday, December 3, 2012

Is PMS a Myth?

I don't agree with this research at all.  I know for a fact I am meaner, fall asleep on the floor tired and I inhale everything I can find in the house to eat for about a week before I actually get "it". And when I say mean I really mean pissed at everyone all the time for no reason, on top of Fibro out!!! I am not pleasant to be around. But I do agree with the part that says when you use PMS as an excuse people might not take your feeling seriously, but in my case that's okay because I may end up divorced if my husband took my feelings during that week seriously!!!

Is PMS a Myth?

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Quitting coffee is easy...said no one EVER!

A long time ago I said I'd touch on what awful terrible things happened to me when I quit coffee and never did.  I have a few minutes so I'll be brief.
I quit coffee during pregnancy. I had headaches and it wasn't very pleasant but I lived through it. Also knowing I could start back up again after breast feeding was my light at the end of the tunnel. Back in April  I decided to go hard core healthy and clean all up the last remaining stragglers from the last time I went "healthy", coffee, Chinese food, soy ingredients and occasional Mojito with the girls...I figured I'd get the headaches without the coffee for sure. I have Adrenal Fatigue so it was clear I had to go the NO caffeine rout.
Day 1: great

Day 2: slight headache
Day 3: severe headache
Day 4: Migraine from the dark angel himself . Kill me now.

I had fever, chills, shakes, nausea, and a migraine. I was sensitive to light, sound and even vibrations.I thought I was going to die. My forehead felt like it was sliding off my skull.
I prayed and prayed for it to be over. I was in bed for 2 days. Finally My sinuses started to get congested and then my nose was stuffed u it felt like it would explode right off my face. After texting with my doctor for a while day 7 we come to realize I had the dreadful pleasure of also having a sinus infection to go hand in hand with my withdrawal symptoms. Who know which was happening first, but they definitely worked hard to make the other worse, and they worked great together to make me sick enough to wwant to die. So needless to say, I will about once a month treat myself to a cafe mocha , but I can never go back! EVER!

Caffeine is a classified drug and reacts differently from person to person. While some people can drink up to 10 cups a day, others get a jolt from just one cup. The medical consensus regards caffeine as less of an addiction and more of a physical dependence.

In an in, Griffiths said that the studies had demonstrated that people who take in as little as a hundred milligrams of caffeine per day—about the amount in half a cup of coffee—can acquire a physical dependence that would trigger withdrawal symptoms.
"Although most regular caffeine users know that caffeine is a mild stimulant, many are not aware that abrupt cessation can sometimes produce unpleasant withdrawal symptoms," Griffiths said.
"With regard to severity, 13 percent of people had clinically significant distress or functional impairment," Griffiths added. "At its worst, caffeine withdrawal involved missing work, canceling social functions, and going to bed with the belief that they had the flu."
A study published by theJournal of Analytical Toxicology found that nine out of 10 tested cups of decaf coffee from coffee from shops and restaurants contained 8.6 mg-13.9 mg of caffeine. It also found that decaffeinated espresso shots contained 3 mg-16 mg of caffeine per shot. Another study done by Consumer Reportstested 36 cups of small decaf coffees from six locations. They found that more than half had less than 5 mg of caffeine while the rest had a range from 20 mg-32 mg per cup. Depending on how much you consume in a day, you can end up consuming more caffeine from decaffeinated drinks than you would in one cup of coffee.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012


Why is it when after a handful of doctors who pat you on your back and send you on your way, do you still hold out hope for the one who will believe you. The one who will help you. That one particular doctor who will understand and not make you feel like a ticket at the deli counter? I say because the human spirit never dies. We want to keep going. We want to  stay connected. We want to feel things like acceptance, happiness, pride, understanding, love, hope, and most of all...we want to be free from pain. NO ONE makes this up as a way to avoid going to work. It's not convenient to be absent from every special event. It's not fun to miss your kids soccer practice, wife's speech, or husbands xmas party. And we certainly would love to go hang out at Starbucks and have a latte with our friends. But sometimes we can't. No matter how bad we want to we can't. Depression is crippling, pain is debilitating, and life as we knew it is broken.
 Humans have the amazing ability of  awareness. The greatest kind, self awareness. It is an ability to know your not being told accurate information. It is an ability to know your body better than anyone else could possibly know it. It is an ability to have the strength to keep going when everyone else is telling you there's nothing left to do. So I say take this amazing ability you have and don't take no for an answer when it concerns your illness or disability. Beg, borrow, barter, or steal as you see fit to get your voice heard. Your spirit is speaking to you and you have to listen, and obey.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Why I run 5K with Fibromyalgia. (Adventure 5K)

Well I actually don't have an answer to that. I think it may a lot of different things, or combinations of things. But I have no one answer. In theory I like to run. I like how I feel afterwards. Nothing else gives me that feeling of such freedom. Maybe I feel like I am running from my problems. Or I don't think about my problems when I'm running. Is such a stress reliever and the endorphin's kicking in just make you feel so dam good you can get addicted. And I have an addictive personality  If I drink coffee I drink a whole pot. If I want some veggies sticks I eat a whole bag. Still working on that one! I loved my first obstacle race so now I love them all. Maybe that's the reason. It's the new exciting thing right now. A few years ago I was good shape. My Fibro symptoms weren't that bad I was running a lot and going to the gym. I did my first 5K for Special Olympics. My time was good, I was good. I loved it. Then over that winter my symptoms were increasingly worse. I could barely walk fro the kitchen to my bedroom without getting winded. Now I knew what everyone with bad symptoms was complaining about. I was angry, depressed, mad at the world and the doctors. Mad at my husband. Hopeless that I'd be using a walker to watch my kids graduate from high school. So a year later it was Special Olympics time again. I had a sinus infection, newly diagnosed asthma and all my running...well...lets say I wasn't doing any. I did it anyway and wanted to die. Time was bad, I was spitting phlegm all the way, my time was bad, but gave myself am A for effort. Over the next year (extreme change of diet, introduction of supplements (see previous post I don't want to bore you again) new doctor and 8 months later I signed myself up for that first Warrior Dash.  I felt great, my time was great,  it was a ton of fun,and I was hooked.

So now I have done 2 Warrior Dash's, a Lozilu, today was an Adventure 5K, and I have one more Zombie Run and of course...Special Olympics. Then I'm done for the year. As usual I feel guilty that I am well enough to run. I feel like talking about it is bragging  But I earned it. I go to great pains to exercise even when it hurts, I go without plenty of things I want to eat to eat the things I SHOULD. I take about 11 different supplements and natural products everyday and TRY real hard to everything I can good for my body.

So yeah. It's not bragging. It's just reality. This is where my body is at right now. Next year I may not be able to run. I will try to make sure that doesn't happen but we all know the predictability of Fibro is in fact that it is UNPREDICTABLE!
Today my time was just okay, I've been faster and I've been slower but it was mostly trail running and I am not good going up a hill. But the obstacles were easy, the water was cold but my kids were there and it was awesome to see them on my way to the finish line! They even did one of the obstacles after the race was over on the way back to the car and they thought it was "so cool" I met the people there which was nice but they either blew past me or were behind me so I still ended up running alone. it was good because I had no pressure on me to go faster, and I even stopped to help a few people here and there and that was nice too. I felt better helping someone else. I may need it one day:)
So.....Why do I run 5k with Fibromyalgia?

I guess I do it because I can. And because it feels good. And because someday I know I won't be able to. And since we can't always do things that feel good, like sit naked on the beach with a Mojito listening to Bob Marley...this I will do!

Full of COLD water!!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Create more blogger traffic!

Blogger event and chance to win a Kindle Fire

Try to sign up asap as spots are only open till the end of the week! Increase traffic and be entered to win!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

So I sat on the front porch trying to get some sun on my face, and I watched a man walk by with his fishing pole, a backpack and a coffee. I thought to myself how nice it is to be on your way to go do something you love.  Simple. People do things they love all the time but I don't think much about it. Actor are doing what they love. Parents, teachers, artists, and the list goes on and on. He didn't need anyone to go with him which made me feel a little envious. I thought about all the stuff I like to do and began to think maybe I am not so simple. I actually don't like to do much by myself. I will if I have to. I am secure in the fact that I don't "need" anyone to things with me, but I most definitely PREFER to have a friend or family member tag along. I don't know why I automatically assume this is a sign of weakness or insecurity. Does even thinking that itself make me insecure? So I thought about the things I love to do and how many have been alone and there were only a few. Going to the movies, scrap-booking in my kitchen, running down the bike path. Most everything else I have had some one come or I didn't do it. I now think this is not an insecurity or a weakness. It's just more fun. It's more fun when friends join in and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be connected and share in an experience with others.

I did another Warrior Dash a couple weeks ago at Gunstock Mt in NH. I actually was able to get a friend, but another friend (who got hurt just before and couldn't run), her husband, and 2 people who work in her office. My husband even jumped in. Although he said he would only do it once for the experience he had no interest in running around to all these mud runs. He said "that's your thing". Well, It felt so good to be with a bunch of people and be able to talk about it and compare notes and give different perspectives. I feel nothing wrong with wanting to part of group at all. I found the folks and have joined the team for a Adventure 5K race that hasn't happened yet but I was so nervous about meeting up with a large group of people I have never met. Now, not so much. It will be fun.

 The Warrior Dash course was the hardest yet because we had to go up and down the mountain 2 times. Not happy about the up at all. But the obstacles were easy and fun. I flew going down the mountain to try to make up some time. My only complaint was the giant slip and slide. Apparently it was on top of concrete and rocks. Why in the hell they would do this is beyond me. I guess that's why they make you sign a waiver! So my butt slammed every rock on the way down and even received a few small gashes as a result. Didn't see that till I got home. At the bottom of the slip and slide there were a ton of rocks you skidded over bare bottom because of the momentum you build up going down made it impossible to actually stop yourself at the end. OUCH!
 But we had a blast, we got our free beer although it was gross (Bud light) and my husband got hooked. He got home and jumped on the computer looking for more races! It felt good to have my husband part of something that had just been "my thing" up to that point.

Darling Hubby!

Now the flip side. I feel when I do these I can because I eat right and exercise. Having Fibro 2 years ago had me flat out and barely walking anywhere without feeling like I was going to die. If I didnt work so hard at trying to be healthy and pretend  like I don't have Fibro I would NOT be doing this. And its hard. Its hard reading labels and saying no to things you want and looking on line and asking doctors questions. But if you think you are worth it you will do it.
The last 2 days I have been in so much pain walking hurts. Talking hurts, and I'm moving so slow I am hardly getting anything done around the house at all. I was in bed all last night. I cannot believe I am the same person who does these 5K's. I just can't. It seems impossible the body I am in now is the same body that runs?! REALLY? How does that happen!  I know it's okay to take it easy but this is sh*t I hate about Fibro. One day you're good, the next a zombie. IT SUCKS! You feel alone, depressed, wishing it will end when it never can. It's a head game how some days you feel so good then it reminds you"HA HA" I'm not going anywhere. So I have engrossed myself in a new Facebook page to try to help myself and other people going through this know they are not alone. I'm hoping after I get my personal training certificate I can give even more advise.I'm trying to encourage. I'm trying to be positive, and also let people know there are people WHO FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. This thing has a horrible habit of making you feel alone and that NO ONE could possibly know what its like. But we do. WE ALL DO. So I will rest on my bad days, be my best on my good days and enjoy this wonderful new family I have found on Facebook. Who would have known?!

Monday, September 10, 2012

A little Zippity Do Da

Fibromyalgia and my other half..

I have pain, it gets worse in the winter. In the winter I try not to leave my house unless I absolutely have to. Even when I have to take my kids to dance or wherever they may need to go I find myself feeling resentful from time to time. I secretly wish..awe who am I kidding, it's no secret! I wish I didn't have to leave the house for anything at all. Then I feel guilty about it. I want my kids involved in activities, having a life and I love to watch fro the sidelines, through the window or form the audience. But I always feel half involved. Half  invested, half interested, even half awake. So much of this syndrome I feel like I am only living half my life. In my head I have so much I want to do, and I remember when I did it all. But I also have the reality of what I can do now and how I feel now. I try not to feel like I got robbed, of anything, but I have. When I think about how I used to feel I get very sad, so I try not to. I try to be positive because all the studied show how important it is. I know when I force myself to walk or run or do a Warrior Dash or go to Six Flags with the kids, I will pay for it later. But I feel better for participating because for a little while, I feel like I won and Fybromyalgia lost. When I feel the guilt (and lets face it, sometimes embarrassment) for slowing down and falling behind when everyone else is racing off to the next roller coaster, I have to remind myself "at least I'm here" and I hope that's what they remember.Not that everywhere we went my back hurt, or how many things I stayed home for because I was too tired or sore, while they went alone with their dad.

So I try to join groups and pages on facebook. I even started one recently. I read everybody's blogs, and try to be involved in taking control of this thing since so much in NOT in my control. I need to stay busy and not just with housework!! It's a terrible juggling act trying to live to the fullest potential this body will let me. Between being tired, angry, a mom, a wife, feeling sad, being  in pain, depressed, and then feeling good...yikes!  Everything seems 10x's harder for me to do than everyone else, yet there are so many people who can't even do some of the things I can. So then I feel better, but guilty I feel better because someone is worse off. But is that really wrong? Don't we sometimes measure ourselves by what we can can do compared the next person? We aren't supposed to.But we do from time to time. And that's the way it is. I said it. Yeah, I am glad for myself, when I see people in so much pain and bed ridden, "at least I can run". When someone says they cant even stand for more than 15 minutes at a time I say "at least I can ride my bike". So I guess I don't feel bad that much because my heart also breaks for those people. And if I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away I would. If granted one wish it would be to wipe this out and make it no more, forget the money!

I try to pass on info on healthy eating, new pain management therapies and what ever knowledge I have. If I make one person feel like the day is not bad I will. But it would also be nice if I didn't always feel too tired to do it! I have a race coming up on Saturday. I have to try not compare myself to all the super fit people blowing past me with rockets on their feet.  I don't know if I'm ready but I will do my best and that's all I can do. That's any of us can do. 

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Why Fibromyalgia Is Worse For Women Who Are Night Owls

This is a very interesting video. It's only a couple minutes but worth watching. He makes a valid point about the tender point method of diagnosing Fibro, and that pain may not be the most prominent symptom. ( Not always anyway). I know this to be true from personal experience. Some days the depression or brain fog are more invasive and disruptive than the pain ever could be. I like his explanation for the new ways of testing/diagnosing and hope people realize they really may need to find another doctor if they are not diagnosing correctly because in reality Fibromyalgia mimics or vise-versa  so many other diseases and syndromes you want to really make sure it is Fibro you actually have so you can begin to treat its symptoms CORRECTLY and KICK IT'S BUTT!!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Fibromyalgia Patients Self-Medicating With Cannabis May Have Poor Mental Health Outcomes

With all the newest news about how cannabis is helpful for relief of Fibro symptoms I saw this today and felt obligated to share....
This information is not a surprise to me, as I have always said no matter how bad it gets, this is not an option for me! Even in high school when they show the scan of the brain of a smoker vs non smoker there is damage, HOLES if you will, dead spots.Pain or no pain, I'll pass, but if it helps someone, well that's their choice and I'm glad they feel better!

Fibromyalgia Patients Self-Medicating With Cannabis May Have Poor Mental Health Outcomes

Friday, August 17, 2012

Bikram (Hot) Yoga for Fibro A+

                                                          Okay so I went to my first Bikram Yoga class. The actual poses were not that hard, I was even a little surprised. I always seem to underestimate what I can do on an average day. There were few near the end when I said "Ha, yeah right?!" But anyway, it was hot. That's the point right? I figure if Im supposed to sweat, stretch, and relax..this has it all. (Plus I got a Groupon for a place 5 miles away! That helps) It was great when I was in there most of the time but again, by the end I thought I might pass out so I skipped one pose laying in Savasana, did the next, skipped the next. I did that for the last 6 poses. It is 90 minutes long. 90 long minutes!  I feel an hour would be long enough, but I know you need that time to get through the poses. But I made it through, and was so proud of myself. Car ride home, another story. Talk about nausea!! I thought "oh my god what the hell, I'm never doing that again!" Thankfully it passed. I said okay, great. "when can I go back?"  I ate breakfast as this was an 8 a.m. class and they tell you not to eat before, took a shower, then preceded to run completely and utterly out of gas! I had to lay down I was so tired. Then I was dead. I didn't move but to roll over for about 3 hours...Is this normal? I don't know. I asked a friend who does it and she said she has to come home and take a nap. So maybe this is normal, even if not for everyone, for some.
                                                   I googled Yoga for fibro many times before, and I do yoga at home but the added heat and new poses was something I had to google again after I was able to walk and there are a ton of sites with info for Bikram specifically being helpful. So IF YOU CAN TAKE THE HEAT, I suggest to try it. Don't let the reviews that say you need to be fit and tell you how strenuous it is scare you. Just do what you can, stay to the back of room and watch what everyone else is soing, and try your best. The class has newbies and experts, as does LIFE! The more you try the better you feel, the better you feel, the more you do..(Oh and bring a banana)! My next experiment is to take a class at 7 p.m. and see if after that  shower I may get a real good nights sleep since that class was the only thing that put me in a coma that didn't involve an intense amount of PAIN and mental shut down.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Another glimmer of hope for relief?

Although I don't like to just regurgitate information, this is far to clinical for me to begin to explain what all this means so you'll have to read for yourself. But what I can tell you is that if these turn out to be true, we have HOPE for relief from our Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue (among other things) in the future, and if not ours, the next generations. I am liking what I'm reading!!

Friday, August 10, 2012

"Houston we have a problem"

I have been neglectful of my blog lately either because I feel too good or I feel too bad. When I feel great I run, play with kids and visit friends and getting on here is the last thing on my mind. When I feel terrible, getting on here is the first thing on my mind, but I can't manage to make my body do it. I have so many things to say and yet no desire to take the time...I just have to wait till that moment hits me where I want to spill it all. I know now why some people have days to blog like only on Wednesday, or every other day. It's a big commitment weather you have 3 followers or 3 thousand. To get your thoughts down, share information, links, pictures..whew. My mind is scrambled just thinking about it. I got a little recognition recently, not a Pulitzer, but it rejuvenated me! For a while now, although therapeutic, I feel what's the point of doing this? No one is looking. No one cares. I am wasting my time. But I am not. I will continue to TRY to reach people.  Healthline put me on their list of best blogs about Fibro (THANK YOU!!!) and I thought, "Oh jeez, I better get in there!" So here's my update:
My most recent experience is one that has really made me realize that I am one of those people who can greatly benefit from change of diet and exercise. I have spent about 3 weeks with no supplements, instead of working out every day it's been 2 times a week, and I slacked on my diet. I had a few mixed drinks on vacation, plus a lot of restaurant food, and some coffee (UGH THE WORST! Why right?) I had more junk during pms (which I can never fully fend off) but his time it was excessive, a few more beers at a cookout, then out for ice cream 3 times in a week,  And I  NEVER eat ice cream.  I had more artificial ingredients over the course of 3 weeks than I have had in a year! Now, that being said, we also had quite a few consecutive hot days and the humidity levels were also high. Again, usually this doesn't bother me. I tolerate heat a lot better than cold. But all these factors combined LAYED ME OUT! I was lethargic, depressed, really unmotivated to even play with my kids, unable to fall asleep, headaches, back aches, short of breath, night time leg pain worsened, my memory and patience..well lets just say I had none! And that's saying a lot! It all caught up with me OF COURSE! I finally fell completely on my face Thursday night around 6. I could not stand, talk, think..I was just a life size cardboard cut out of myself. I crawled up the stairs got in my bed and died!. My middle daughter came in talk to me and I didn't know what day it was, what time it was, or remember much of what she said. I was having hot flashes, and wishing I could somehow just get up," just please get up"! I may have even said it out loud?! But I could barely manage to roll over. Thankfully hubby took over the rest of the night. "Houston, we have a problem".  So for me I have some definitive proof, and anyone else that has been through this, or anything similar, knows..they are all connected!. You cant just eat right and leave everything else as it was. Even if you exercise but eat terrible, you are doing a great disservice to you health.  You have to attack on all fronts. CLEAN diet, positive attitude, exercise, sleep, drink water and either meds or supplements, whichever you may choose. I am always defending my choice to pay a little extra for grass fed organic beef, or why I spend a whole day cooking things from scratch..and although I get weary of explaining the benefits of healthy eating, I realize it is an opportunity for me to educate people on the benefits. ESPECIALLY people with health/disability issues. Your health depends on it people!.
So I have tightened the reigns once again, I have my supplements, started Yoga For the Warrior and I am back on track. I have signed up for another Warrior Dash and an Adventure 5K with and still trying to talk some friends into one more. That will be 5 runs for the summer, plus the annualy 5K for Special Olympics in October. I think I'm doing ok for STILL needing another 15 pounds to lose. But Im not complaining about the 21 lost so far! Have a great pain free weekend everyone!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

NO cure! As if we didn't know already!

"Since there is no known cure or even a universal treatment, most of the patients are treated with pain medication. Some have turned to a diet as a way to combat the symptoms."

Read more:

Monday, July 9, 2012

Lozilu (Womens Mud Run)

Well I did the Lozilu  mud run this past Saturday with  a friend. I wish there were a few more people to make it even more fun but so is life. Things don't always go the way you want. It was fun, it was muddy and the weather was great. I do have to say it was not as challenging as the Warrior Dash. In one aspect I was a little disappointed because I didn't get to really push my body to any sort of " pretending to be an athlete" place, but at the same time it made it very relaxing to just go and not worry what obstacle was coming next because I knew I'd be able to do it. Also for my friend  I was very happy it wasn't too hard to scare her off from doing it again. This was her first time doing an event like this and she was very nervous. She did GREAT! She was so excited and felt great accomplishment and that was awesome to see. There were some pretty big groups (ex:  group) which really made feel somewhat disappointed that I don't run in circles of people who really want to "do" things like this on a regular basis. Being home I don't have great opportunities to find those people, but I'm working on it. So I will go, I will have fun, and I will make this body do what I tell it to do. Obstacles were not extremely hard so its good for first timers, people with reservations, limitations or just starting out. 

The giant slip and slide was the best part for sure! I am not sore, (after the last warrior I had shin-splints for 3 days in one leg! OUCH!) and I can't wait for another one!.
*On a side note if you have a diet of no/minimally processed foods, artificial ingredients/hormones and the like,  pack a snack. This as well as many of these events have a variety of after race munchies but they usually are not on the healthy side. This particular event I could eat nothing but the bananas and drink only water. Luckily I had a bag of food. These races leave me STARVING!!But it still was fun and I recommend it when ever it's your area!! 

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

I have to keep telling myself this as of late. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Stuck in the mud, LITERALLY!

I was talking to my doctor about how i have been lately. Mood, pain, concentration, things of that sort. A midst telling her I feel like crying, I actually started crying. Thankfully we were doing this all via text so she had no idea. It might help my disability case if she saw me fall apart but I still cant let go of trying to be the same person i was before. Strong, impenetrable..., I know I need to work on this but no matter how hard i try and how far i come..
                                  So I guess I'm in a bad place right now. I have been in so much pain lately an as usual I just push through and keep going, occasionally laying in the bed until my mind gets so overwhelmed with the things i have to do i get back yup and im at it again. I don't feel like I ever get rest and Im always tired, always in pain. I feel like I try all day, i switch the laundry, then sit down, then get up and load the dishwasher, sit down, get up and clean the bathroom, sit down, up to cook dinner, sit down, clean up after dinner, sit down, then back up to empty the dishwasher and grab the laundry, read my kids books for bed, only to sit down again and fold the laundry. None of this seemed like work BEFORE. None of it was so exhaustion BEFORE.  No one knows how much it hurts all the time and I cant keep complaining about it.But I feel like I talk to myself all day about the pains, the anger, the sadness. I feels like a balloon that gets bigger and bigger and its so streatched out beyond capacity that you know its going to burst at any second...but it doesnt. It just grows and grows and keeps hurting and and you cant stop it. Like a having the most horrific itchy bug bite and your hands are tied so cant scratch it. Its MADDENING. If you could put the feelings into a scream it would be so blood curling, well..if you have fibro you know. I get sick of hearing myself, imagine what my husband thinks.On a very bad day I will do more resting, but still have to stagger it among taking someone to school, park, dance, groceries or what ever..I'm thankful I have the kids sometimes just for the fact that it prevents me from sitting around all day turning into a blob. In my mind I hold resentment for the fact I have to do these things when i feel completely and utterly beaten down. In my heart I miss being excited about doing all these things and it makes me feel sad. I feel like my kids are getting ripped off of the best parts of me because I'm too tired or sore to do all the things i want to with them. I looked a blog of another fibro sufferer and she was a marathoner, and said "if i can do this, you can do this" and I was pissed! How dare she! Assume that we all can do what she is doing. No way would my body let me run a marathon, lots of people are on the couch 10 hours out of their day they are so crippled from pain, depression, and side effects of meds...oh how dare she!
                                       Then in the car on my way to The Warrior Dash this past Sunday I realized that, maybe that lady was not such a B word after all. I was thinking about how far I have come in the last few months, and if I would dare to blog about the dash for fear of pissing people off. I realized that we are all at different level of our struggle and just because she can run a marathon and I cant, doesn't mean she is suffering any less. There are a lot of people with Fibro and CFS that cannot even do this Warrior Dash, or much else for that matter. Does it mean I am suffering any less than the person next to me? HELL NO!! ~here come the tears~ I would give anything to be rid of this pain for one day, to feel "normal", to feel like everyone walking past me in the mall worried more about new shoes then how my back is killing me. I'd give anything to be happy when I wake up in the morning looking forward to my day instead of just waiting for bedtime to come back around again.
                                        My philosophy has been.."I'm in pain anyway, it might as well be for a purpose". At least I can control some aspect of what my body is going through. So I did the Warrior Dash. I finished in under an hour, I felt great. To my surprise I didn't really struggle too much on anything. I did go a little slower on a few obstacles where I potentially could have broken something if I fell. But its better for me to just ti  finish than to get hurt. I was really hungry afterwards and later that day had a little pain on the right side. Right ankle, right knee, right wrist and a little sore neck. But I was happy with that. Could have been worse. I felt like a fraud thinking about all the people who cannot do what I'm doing but I have to get over that too..I THINK I CAN KEEP GOING BECAUSE I KEEP GOING. If I didn't eat right and exercise on a regular basis I am sure  would be in even more pain, and able to do far less. So I embrace that the fact that I work my ass to feel as good as I can. I pay the extra for organic, hop around from BJ's to whole foods and use coupons BECAUSE MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! And if someone else wants to think I am not in pain because I do these things and they can't, well shame on them.

Me on the right :)