Suffer from chronic pain? Staying active anyway? We would love to meet you!

Are you a runner, cyclist, or competitor in in a sport? Do you have chronic pain from Arthritis, CFS, ME, Pots, Fibromyalgia or any other pain condition? It's sometimes hard for people to understand that what you do may be twice as hard, or take twice as long. Some may never grasp the sheer determination  and energy it takes just for you to keep up, never mind exceed any goals you may have set for yourself. Sometimes feeling guilty about being able to do so much is one thing I struggle with personally  I see every day people who can barely move and are in great pain and I hurt for them,and think of them all when I am running. I have worked hard for it, sometimes to point of tears, literally. Crying and running! But in the midst of feeling so proud is some sorrow and guilt,  knowing others may never get there. But each of us has our own struggle. And I am finding that being active makes my struggle  a little less painful and a lot more fun. We are looking to connect  with others in the same position. I started RunningWith.org with my husband to try to bring together others like me, either to race together, communicate about struggles or just to know we are not alone out here on this journey.Whether you are in Texas, Florida, Canada, Massachusetts or anywhere we would love to connect with you and hear your story. Hear how you manage physical fitness in the face of chronic pain. What motivates you, how do overcome the temporary setbacks?
Find us. Join us. We would love to meet you!
Dawn

Why I run 5K with Fibromyalgia. (Adventure 5K)

Well I actually don't have an answer to that. I think it may a lot of different things, or combinations of things. But I have no one answer. In theory I like to run. I like how I feel afterwards. Nothing else gives me that feeling of such freedom. Maybe I feel like I am running from my problems. Or I don't think about my problems when I'm running. Is such a stress reliever and the endorphin's kicking in just make you feel so dam good you can get addicted. And I have an addictive personality  If I drink coffee I drink a whole pot. If I want some veggies sticks I eat a whole bag. Still working on that one! I loved my first obstacle race so now I love them all. Maybe that's the reason. It's the new exciting thing right now. A few years ago I was good shape. My Fibro symptoms weren't that bad I was running a lot and going to the gym. I did my first 5K for Special Olympics. My time was good, I was good. I loved it. Then over that winter my symptoms were increasingly worse. I could barely walk fro the kitchen to my bedroom without getting winded. Now I knew what everyone with bad symptoms was complaining about. I was angry, depressed, mad at the world and the doctors. Mad at my husband. Hopeless that I'd be using a walker to watch my kids graduate from high school. So a year later it was Special Olympics time again. I had a sinus infection, newly diagnosed asthma and all my running...well...lets say I wasn't doing any. I did it anyway and wanted to die. Time was bad, I was spitting phlegm all the way, my time was bad, but gave myself am A for effort. Over the next year (extreme change of diet, introduction of supplements (see previous post I don't want to bore you again) new doctor and 8 months later I signed myself up for that first Warrior Dash.  I felt great, my time was great,  it was a ton of fun,and I was hooked.

So now I have done 2 Warrior Dash's, a Lozilu, today was an Adventure 5K, and I have one more Zombie Run and of course...Special Olympics. Then I'm done for the year. As usual I feel guilty that I am well enough to run. I feel like talking about it is bragging  But I earned it. I go to great pains to exercise even when it hurts, I go without plenty of things I want to eat to eat the things I SHOULD. I take about 11 different supplements and natural products everyday and TRY real hard to everything I can good for my body.

So yeah. It's not bragging. It's just reality. This is where my body is at right now. Next year I may not be able to run. I will try to make sure that doesn't happen but we all know the predictability of Fibro is in fact that it is UNPREDICTABLE!

Today my time was just okay, I've been faster and I've been slower but it was mostly trail running and I am not good going up a hill. But the obstacles were easy, the water was cold but my kids were there and it was awesome to see them on my way to the finish line! They even did one of the obstacles after the race was over on the way back to the car and they thought it was "so cool" I met the WickedMuddy.com people there which was nice but they either blew past me or were behind me so I still ended up running alone. it was good because I had no pressure on me to go faster, and I even stopped to help a few people here and there and that was nice too. I felt better helping someone else. I may need it one day:)
So.....Why do I run 5k with Fibromyalgia?

I guess I do it because I can. And because it feels good. And because someday I know I won't be able to. And since we can't always do things that feel good, like sit naked on the beach with a Mojito listening to Bob Marley...this I will do! http://runningwith.org/

Full of COLD water!!

 

The setback (sshh don't tell anyone)

So I have been on a break from my 90 day program. On one hand i feel like a failure because I couldn't make 90 days. Then I realize the condition my body is in and how far I have come. I ease up on myself and realize that I am just listening to my body and responding to what it needs. I have pushed past what I thought I could do already, and I am hurting. So let the body rest. Then I go back to slapping myself (figuratively) in the face and getting mad. If I can push past this on so many levels before, why not this past week and a half? Well I did notice arms are getting numb and tingling at night when I sleep again which hasn't happened in a while, but the back pain and stiffness are less when I get up in the morning. Groggy but not angry which is good. But still hobbling all day on and off depending on what I have done/am doing. What makes last week different? What makes me special? Pain doesn't take a day off from kicking my ass so why should I take off from kicking its ass?! I feel guilty about feeling good, when I do it's like flaunting to me. Some people are on heavy meds, cant do anything or very little. I feel blessed I can do so many things most days, pissed when I can't, but I feel like I have to prove somehow what I have because when you look at me you don't see anything. I do things a lot of people with Firo can't and I don't know how I feel about it most days..Its a wicked mental game. So, workout; I started up again yesterday. Feeling it, but I'm back on track. So I will finish (behind) and I know I will always feel a little defeated when I look back and didn't do it in 90 days, but will remind myself I didn't quit.I will post a before and after pictures. (maybe..um..yeah..maybe!) Not much difference it seems since I carried the weight pretty well in the first place, and in terms of numbers not so great because I put on more muscle. Everyone else says "oh yeah you can tell, and I can tell especially when trying on clothes that didn't fit last summer or winter for that matter. But, The goal is to feel better, getting things working right and not let Fibro win. That is being accomplished.
                                                      Meds update: I have been able to a difference with the supplements. Not huge, but yes I can see it. I am sleeping better/more, and my mood has been slightly better, although when I am down I am down with a vengeance. I forget to take them occasionally (not often) but I am wondering if it's that that has me all over the map or still just the general behavior of the Fibro. Who knows at this point. I still feel like I am faking it when I give people the positive attitude and a smile. I really want to say 'You have no idea! You can never know!" But my anger would be misdirected. I have to remember the power, and it has REAL power, of positive thinking. So I try to really feel it and believe it but it's so hard when you have felt so bad for so long...My doctor reminded me "It took along time for your body to get this way and it's going to take a long time to get better." Well I know this is true, but it's very hard to wait. especially for me. I like things fast. I want results fast, I want answers fast. I like to dance fast (belly dance over ballet any day!) I even like to walk fast.
                                                  Walk for Hunger update: I did the walk for hunger. I know right?! Like I'm not doing enough! Had one friend who did it with me and we stayed together for the first 10 1/2 miles. After the lunch/checkpoint  I had a discussion with myself. How do I feel? Well I feel great and I can do more. Is trying to walk slow helping me learn some patience? No. Is it a relaxing walk with conversation> No. My friend is fine. There are no issues with her other than the fact I was slowing up to stay with her a lot. A lot more than I would like to. So my next question was the decision maker. How am I going to feel when I'm done? If I go this slow, like crap. So this walk was for me, a challenge if you will more so than for many other healthy individuals. I wanted to know I did everything I could do. So i walked ahead. I walked my "normal" pace which is fast. I walk alone, without talking slowing me down, 10 minute miles. I walked at my ace, I went ahead, I threw on my ipod and I had a blast singing to myself, playing the drums on my leg and walking. It felt good. It was a l release much like running. Passing people feels great. Knowing I'm almost done feels great and knowing how much I did feels did. I raised with help of course $2,125 for hungry folks. That felt great too! I made Heart and Sole and Leadership circle. Now off to tackle another day and work some Fibro-fightng foods into my diet.. Have a wonderful day free of as much pain as possible
                                                          ♥Dawn